When Danika was a year old, I put together this video:
I remember making it and watching it over and over and thinking how cute she was and how much I loved her and wanted to just snuggle her all the time.
This morning I was taking Danika to work with me at the preschool she also attends. We were headed to her preschool graduation. I was looking in the rear view mirror at her sitting in the back with her pretty dress on and new earrings on . . . and what comes on the radio? Hey There Delilah. I immediately thought of this video and started to tear up. I couldn't turn it off but I didn't want to listen to it . . . I wanted to run from the change that I was driving towards.
It went well. Danika did awesome. Her preschool friends were awesome. Her teachers glowed with pride and I didn't cry . . . until right after this picture was taken:
Right after that picture was taken she came over to me and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and told me that she loved me and I cried, again.
It took me a while to calm down and really stop sobbing. I walked into the hall where we were having cookies and punch and tears were still streaming down my face. I just couldn't stop them!
I can usually keep it together but I didn't today. A few of my coworkers were in there getting things ready and I'm pretty sure I made them cry, too. I did have one of them say, "You just wait, Janene. Wait until you drop her off at college!" That didn't really help much. I did eventually stop in time for me to get through the two preschool programs I was in charge of . . . went through the rest of my day okay. Then I talked to my mom in the evening about how my day went and started crying again.
I plan on enjoying my summer as much as I can because I know when the time comes to put 2 of my kiddos on the bus next year I'm not going to do as well as I did when it was only Nate.
I guess yesterday was just one of those days when it hits me how much they've grown . . . and how much I have no control over this change and fighting it isn't going to do any good. I better just hold on for the ride and try to embrace all of the beginnings and endings.
So true! I heard someone today say that with every "end" comes an even better "beginning." The transition sure can be hard, though! Hugs! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat perspective--not the same as the bus, but we start preschool in the fall, and I'm going to try to be soaking up these summer days too!
ReplyDeleteI think starting preschool would have been a lot harder for me if I didn't work at the preschool! I keep waiting for these things to get easier - but they aren't. I am looking forward to summer, though!
ReplyDeleteAwww - thanks for the hugs. I know that endings are important for better things to happen but ugh...they sure are heart-wrenching sometimes. :)
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