It's been stressful. Packing is absolutely not as easy as I thought it would be or any kind of fun at all after the first 3 or 4 boxes of "easy" stuff gets filled up. It also managed to bring out the worst in me. I swear I hit rock bottom on Wednesday night when Jerry bought the kids The Avengers to watch and sat down to watch it with them while I continued packing. I was upstairs in the "big" kids' room packing away while I could hear the movie playing downstairs. I actually FELT my blood pressure raising. I'd never actually FELT that before. I started getting a little light headed when I was thinking about Jerry just sitting downstairs with the kids while there were things EVERYWHERE that needed put into boxes and labeled and sealed and moved. Then David came upstairs. Which basically meant I was going to have to try to pack with a 3 year-old attached to me. NOT going to help. So, I yelled down for Jerry to at least come up and get him BUT Jerry couldn't hear me because the movie was too loud. Blood pressure rose a little more and head started to get a little lighter . . . I picked David up and marched him down the steps and plopped him on to Jerry's lap, mustering the dirtiest look I could give. David immediately started wailing for me as I stomped back up the steps and I realized I wasn't going to get anything else done until the kids were in bed. I was furious. I stood in the doorway of the living room, looked at Jerry and kind of hissed, "Are you sure this is the best time to be watching a movie?"
In the long run, everything turned out okay and I'm happy to report that we are settling in nicely at my parents' house. All 4 kids have fallen asleep fairly easily both nights and I've even managed to find most of the stuff we've needed the past two days. (If I can find the kids' library books by the time they have library next week then I will consider myself pretty awesome . . . just saying.)
I got a bit of help from my Grandmother, though, in getting over the irritation I've been feeling and my crankiness towards Jerry. Thursday night, while driving home from a teacher workshop, I got a message from my Dad that I should give him a call when I get a minute. Oddly as it seems, because we were planning the move and have been touching base a lot lately, I knew immediately that something was wrong. My Grandmother's loving partner, Jim, - whom she has been with for 21 years - passed away.
Grandma and Jim were always having fun together. They loved to dance and laugh and were always smiling together.
I felt horrible when I heard the news because my Grandmother lives in Florida and we are all the way up here in PA - it's so hard to be far away but even harder when you really just want to be there for someone.
I called my Grandma after dropping the kids off at the bus Friday morning. I was headed to Wendy's for some breakfast for me and the boys (we literally had nothing in the way of breakfast foods because we were getting ready for the move). I just wanted to let her know that I was thinking about her and wanted to tell her that I loved her.
We talked for a few minutes - not very long but long enough that I think she knew I really wished I could give her a hug. She sounded sad. I expected her to sound sad but she sounded REALLY sad and it made me REALLY sad. One of the last things that she said to me when we were getting off the phone was to hold on to Jerry and remember how lucky I am to have such and amazing guy who loves me. It made me remember what is really important.
I got off the phone with my Grandmother and immediately called Jerry to let him know that I love him. I also tried REALLY hard all weekend to make sure he knew I totally appreciate everything that he does. He was a total rock star this weekend! He moved almost EVERYTHING in our house into either storage or up to my parents' house. He had a little help here and there but not much and I have to say that he touched every box that went out the door. He is exhausted and sore right now but I'm going to make sure that he knows he is also very loved - Grandma is right, I am lucky.
If you get a minute, please say a quick prayer for my Grandmother, Fran. She has asked for prayers as she starts a very difficult 2 day process of saying goodbye to the love of her life.
Thanks so much.
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