Two Year Old Twins: Blessing or Test?

I'm kind of at a loss for what to write about today.  I've been so busy with things around here (we had someone come and see the house on Friday and an Open House yesterday) that I haven't had any time to really sit and develop a complete thought.  Another factor in my inability to formulate any sort of coherent dialogue comes in the form of two year old twins who have running amok in my home/life.

I'm not sure how other parents of multiples get through this stage but it seems like I've been in survival mode the entire summer.  I live for nap time and bed time.  I dread those moments when I hear stirring in their bedroom and I pray that they will give me just 15 more minutes.

 From the moment they were born, Dean and David have NEVER been even close to the same.  I joke that if there were such a thing as opposite twins then I would have them.  My husband always says that they are more like "just brothers" than they are twins.  However, they are twins and we have been drudging through the twos slow and steady with a lot of turbulence along the way.

I often think about the fact that God isn't suppose to give you more than you can handle but I have to think he really does test our limits and two year old twins are a prime example. 

They are also amazingly adorable at times.  They can be so incredibly funny and when they are being nice or doing something sweet it really does just melt your heart.  There are plenty of rewards to having two year old twins, too . . . but when they have colored all over the walls in the living room with a Sharpie and then moved on to coloring each other on the day of an Open House, well, you have to remind yourself of those rewards and try very very hard to not run away screaming.

August is on it's Way! Hooray!!!

Now I get it.  I never really understood why parents were always so excited when August rolled around.  After all, Summer is pretty awesome.  Lazy days full of no school, no homework, no running around with things to do . . . it had to beat having kids in school all day and heading to this practice and that, right?


WRONG!


Okay, I'll admit that I'm probably a little biased because I have 4 very small kiddos in the house but I can't wait until there are only 2 during the days . . . and I really can't wait to get back to my part-time teaching job so that I can get a "break".


Sounds insane?  Hear me out.


When the kids are home for the Summer my days go something like this:


7:30ish - Hear babies crying their beds (my "babies" are 2 years old, btw) and try to ignore them for 15 more minutes.


7:33ish - Give up after "babies" start asking for Mama and pleading...go in and get them out of their beds, watch them wake up the other two sleeping children (5 year old and 6 year old) and head downstairs to start breakfast.


7:45 - 8:30 - Put Keurig on and start brewing. Make breakfast.  Divide breakfast up onto 4 plates. Serve breakfast.  Put creamer in coffee. Negotiate how many more bites they have to eat before they can start playing. Clean off table. Put dishes in dishwasher.  Sit down and drink lukewarm (if I'm lucky) coffee.


8:30 - 11:30 - Play all the roles a mother usually has to play:

• Referee
• Doctor/Nurse
• Teacher
• Tech Genius
• Translator
• Artist
• Maid
• Chef
• Psychologist
• Taxi Driver

11:30 - 12:30 - Lunch . . . repeat most steps from breakfast but with different food and more agitated children.

12:30 - Attempt to get the 2 year olds to take a nap.  On good days they will and the rest of the afternoon goes smoother . . . but they are few and far between these days.

12:30 - 3:30 - Many of the earlier jobs will be repeated and new ones will be added such as:

• Librarian
• Baker
• Personal Investigator
• Slave Driver

3:30 - Start thinking about dinner but continue to clean, chase, defuse and comfort 4 children.

4:30 - Realize that DH will be home in a half an hour and you haven't started dinner...opps.

4:33 - Start cleaning up misc. dishes, etc. so that you can make a mess while making dinner.

4:45 - Start dinner and the whole dinner routine (see breakfast and lunch)

5:30 - Collapse for 20 minutes

6:00 - Start baths and bedtime routine

7:30 - Twins to bed (sing a Hallelujah chorus in head)  

7:30 - 9:30 - Kick it into survival mode and cruise until "big" kids head to bed.

Once school starts . . . this whole routine will become significantly easier on me (I hope).  

So, I now understand why Staples says, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and parents are smiling a little bit more come August.

Will I miss my kiddos? Of course!  I'm a nervous wreck about putting Danika on the bus for the first time and I KNOW I'm going to miss her a bunch . . . but I'm holding on to the hope that I may actually drink a cup of HOT coffee come September.  I think it will help ease my pain when I only have to worry about 2 lunch plates and on those few and far between nap days I may actually get something that almost NEVER happens hear . . . a few moments of complete silence.

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Where's The Sunday Sip? Well, we are out there looking for YOU that's where!  The Sunday Sip queue is open and waiting for you to hop in line. Send us an e-mail if you would like to be featured on an upcoming Sunday Sip. We can't wait to meet you and introduce you to our readers!

Saturday Musings: My Daughter Observes and Reports

When she turned five, everything she was thinking came out of her mouth.

My third daughter was a P-E-R-F-E-C-T baby.  Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky. This little lady was definitely one of the main reasons we made the decision to have a fourth.  She would sit in her bouncer all chubby and cute and watch the world go by.  She rarely fussed. If she was tired, she drifted off to sleep. If she was hungry, she rarely made a peep. Honestly, she was so easy to take care of and love. She was completely content observing. Her picture should be next to the definition of "laid back". It took her longer to walk and talk than it did for her other siblings because she likes to do things in her own time. Her own time is no-rush.

It certainly holds true today. When it comes to clean up time she wanders aimlessly observing everyone else doing the work.  Her observations have now been given a voice and she has always been very complimentary.  She has no trouble telling people--strangers even--what she thinks:

You have pretty hair.  To the woman behind the counter.
I like your earrings. To the girl in church.
You are so smart! To her big sister.
You are really strong. To her Uncle.
Nice outfit, Mommy. To me.

I know it catches people off-guard, but in a good way. I can tell because their eyes widen just a bit. They glance at me with a look of incredulity. And then they smile. I'm sure they have never met a more complimentary little girl.  The thing is not so much that she likes to kiss up, because she doesn't really know what kissing up is.  It is because she is an observer. She sees things others see, but won't comment on. She also sees things that other people don't notice and she comments on that too.

At five she does not have a filter--she says whatever is on her mind. I love her that way. I hope that she never looses it, because we need a person like her in our world. Someone who sees our beauty and tells us about it.

I'm afraid that she will loose it though because lately she is learning that the world isn't always "beautiful".  And she is commenting on that as well with a critical tone:

Wow. Someone's SMOKING. Ew. As we leave a restaurant and pass a woman blowing smoke.
You have lot's of wrinkles! To her Grammy.
He's Grumpy. About her tired Dad.
You're a LOUD talker. To an older gentleman.
Those jeans are tight! As she watches me try on clothes.

I find myself shushing her in those moments. Filtering her. Right now she's protected by her extreme cuteness, big brown eyes, bright smile, button nose, 5-year-old-spunk. But one day, someone will take offense.  And I'm afraid that there will come a day when she keeps her thoughts to herself--nice and not so nice. This makes me sad because we need people like her--watchers.

We need people who remind us of our awesomeness but also keep us in check. We might not always love what we hear, but it will always be the candid truth.

Best Day EVER (this week) #22

If you are looking for a spot to link up your best post of the week:You found the place! Welcome to The BEST day EVER (this week): A carnival brought to you by the gals behind More Than Mommies. So anything is fair game for the link up--as long as it's your best of the week! 

Link up with us and Tell a Friend to do the same. We can't wait see what everyone has been up to this week. Please remember to grab our button for your post or sidebar so blog hoppers will know where you've been and where to go next. This is a low key hop, but the more links, the more fun! We will follow everyone who links up and we ask that you leave some comment love for the blog in front of you and behind. If you have time to visit more--by all means do it! Please link to a specific post! 


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My oldest son, Nate, went to Florida for 10 days to visit family we have down there.  He had an amazing time but we missed him a lot!  The best day this week was definitely the day that my Aunt Anita brought Nate home to us!


She did an amazing job of keeping track of what they did while they were down there so that he would be able to share all of his adventures with him.  They wrote  in his summer journal every night, they took a lot of pictures and even had video that they put on a DVD for him!  He's watched it at least 5 times since he got home.


Here are some of my favorite pics from his vacation:

This one he's arm wrestling Bobby Hopkins - 11 time world champ.  Nate won!  :)

I was so happy he had all of these wonderful memories - and even more so because what we were dealing with here was horrendous.  He is a really sensitive kid and totally needed a break from all of the other little rug rats around here!


I'm also SO happy he is back home with us safe and sound.  I wasn't worried because I knew that he would be taken care of (probably better than he is here because it is JUST him!) but I was slightly worried that he wouldn't open up or say something if something was bother him.  However, it seems like it all went really well!


He's fallen right back into his role/routine around here.  We are glad to have him back and feel more complete with him with us.  He will remember this trip for a REALLY long time!

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It's the simple things in life right?  And yesterday as the storms rolled through I took great pleasure in cuddling up with my family. I cooked a nice big pan of stuffed peppers from the garden. I had been looking forward to them all week and they did not disappoint! It's my idea of comfort food.

Want to know how I made them? 


Stuffed Peppers serves: 4-6
10 - 12 banana peppers
1lb. mild or sweet sausage
1 egg
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

1 small eggplant, diced (the eggplant is optional--I pulled it from the garden and it was too small to do anything else with)

Mozzarella cheese

1 jar of spaghetti sauce (about 2 cups)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spread half jar of spaghetti sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 pan.

Cut tops off of peppers and cut a slit down the center of each pepper. Remove seeds and ribs.

Mix sausage, egg, parm, garlic, bread crumbs, and eggplant together in a mixing bowl.

Spoon stuffing into each pepper and place into pan. Cover with remaining sauce.  Bake uncovered in the oven for 30-35 minutes. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Enjoy!

After dinner it was more cuddling on the couch. We listened to the wind howl and the rain came down. We unplugged the TV and Laptop just in case and I took this video with my phone:

My favorite part is right at the end of the video. If you don't smile right around 1:08...well then, my friend, stop being such a grump!


Have a good weekend everyone!

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Cross One Thing Off Your To Do List Now

The things you need are provided for you. The things you need to see, you will see. The things you need to hear will be heard. The people you need in your life will appear. You will read what you were meant to read and take from it what you are meant to take. The universe sends you a lifeline.  You can choose whether to receive the message today or wait until a bigger billboard arrives to announce the way more clearly.

I had a billboard moment this week.  Just when I needed some direction, I got it. This time I was sitting at church (but for all you non-religious types--rest assured you can have a billboard moment outside of church).      

The message I heard related to my to-do list.  As a SAHM with four girls under eight, my to-do-list looks pretty similar from day to day and it looks that way seven days a week. It's a pretty endless list.  There is ALWAYS something to clean. If I wanted to, I could keep myself busy (very busy) from the time I turn the covers down to the time I pull them up again. 

The message that I heard was this: 

Cross one thing off your to-do list. Simple. I can do that and more!

Without actually doing it. Wait... What?

Here comes the billboard moment:  Make a conscious decision to rest and don't feel guilty about making it and taking it.

In a race with no finish line: I would collapse if I kept cleaning until my house was home magazine perfect. I would probably run us into debt trying to keep up with the latest and greatest. I would be frantic trying to keep up with every activity the girls ever wanted to try.  

Where does it say we have to work all day, every day, without a break?  I can think of examples that direct us against that thinking. Most notably, that after the sixth day of creation, God rested. 

Why do I feel so guilty about taking a rest?  Part of it might be due to my current job and the way that I perceive that some people view the work of a Stay-at-home-mom:  My time is my own. I can rest whenever I like. I don't have a boss breathing down my neck. (True. But also not True. Let me know if I need to elaborate.) 

What do I DO while I'm resting?  Well, nothing at all for starters.  What does rest look like? Reading. Napping. Praying. Listening. Singing. Writing (for my own pleasure). Walking. Living in the moment with the dog.  Snuggling with the girls or the Mister.  For you, it may look different. 

I've taken a good hard look at my to-do list.  For every six things I need to do, I have crossed off the seventh and its place I wrote the word:  REST. The peace that will be gained from doing this will far outweigh the cost of having an extra load of laundry on the pile. 

I challenge you to do the same. 

PMS - Pray for my Husband

When I was in High School, PMS consisted of at least one day of insanely horrible, doubled over or curled up in bed, cramps.  They were truly awful.  I think my body has realized that I don't have the "luxury" of being able to lay around in pain for a day now that I have 4 kids . . . so it has decided on another form of torture to tip me off that my period is coming.

Instead of cramps I now have the following symptoms:

1) I feel like cleaning . . . everything.  It's almost like I'm nesting it gets so bad.  I do not enjoy cleaning any other time of the month.  Yesterday, I spent the ENTIRE day cleaning out my bedroom and the kids rooms.  I am excited that all of the clothes in this house are now organized . . . but my body hates me for all of the sitting on the floor, climbing, bending, folding and other crazy things I did yesterday.  I am SORE!

2) I suddenly know everything and realize that my husband knows nothing - okay, not entirely true (my husband is actually a pretty smart guy, sometimes) but it feels like it.  It seems like every word out of his mouth is stupid when I have PMS.  I actually have questioned whether he saves his stupidity for when I have this super PMS power of know-it-allness or if he does it just to irk me more.  I'm hoping he isn't really stupid and I only see it with my once-a-month "gift".  (Love you, sweetheart!)

3) I become more of an insomniac - I haven't been sleeping well to begin with but when I have PMS I tend to just lay in bed and think about all of the things I should be cleaning or all of the stupid things my husband said that day . . . and I get irritated.  I get edgy and annoyed and that makes it even more difficult for me to fall asleep!  Of course, that also means I'm exhausted in the morning and feel like cleaning.  That makes me crabby and irritated, too.

4) I tend to have a much shorter fuse the 2 days (or so) that I have PMS - I have less patience with EVERYONE.  My kids tend to get me annoyed faster, I have to avoid Facebook because I have an urge to post nothing but sarcastic and confrontational comments and I try to stay off the phone because I'm pretty sure you can hear the irritation in my voice as soon as I say hello.  People have asked me what they did to tick me off before we even start a conversation when they call.

The worst part is that I KNOW that these are the symptoms I get with PMS now and I still can't stop them from happening.  I've also been know to cry at the drop of the hat or feel extremely overwhelmed and trapped.  I actually warned my husband on Saturday that I felt PMS coming and he left the house for the day with 2 of the 3 kids that were here.  I'd admit that it was a smart move if I didn't currently have the PMS power to see that he doesn't know what the heck he's doing most of the time.

What about you?  Do you have any non-physical PMS symptoms that you know are PMS but you can't stop?  Any suggestions on what I can do to help alleviate these symptoms?  My husband would thank you (my kids, too, I'm sure!).

Sunday Inspiration

Lately I've had the urge to paint the walls and redecorate my house.  I've also been on a small organizing kick. Believe me I need all the help I can get in that department. I love the idea of being organized, but I will be the first to admit it is not a skill that comes naturally to me. Where do you look for fresh ideas and inspiration?  There are a few blogs that I have been following for quite some time that always seem to scratch that itch for creative inspiration when it comes to giving your house a little TLC.

I thought I would share some of my favorites this morning--who knows, maybe some of these blogs could be featured in an upcoming Sunday Sip! 

Young House Love - You can read all about Sherry and John here.  I just love their blog. It is chalk full of beautiful ideas. I love watching the rooms in their home transform into something unique and special. I love that they give us the real DIY story: failures and successes. We get to see projects from start to almost finished to finished. And I love how their adorable little girl and sweet little pup can be spotted everywhere. John and Sherry blog and work on projects together and they are funny too! 

Design Seeds - Color Color and More Color. Each post is perfectly pinnable. It"s simply a blog for people who love color. If you are looking for a fresh new color scheme,  look no further than Design Seeds. Its really helpful for visualizing how a room might come together with fresh colors you may not have thought to put together. 

This is the "seed" that has inspired our current Master Bedroom/Bathroom update:

I heart: I Heart Organizing. Jen has got that little something. She makes organizing look so effortless--truly a gift!  I love that she can take a small space and find a place for everything!  You have to check out this closet makeover.  Truly inspiring right? But she's just getting started with the closets. You can find tons of great stuff on her blog: from printables to keep you on track to simple tricks to keep kitchen drawers organized. You won't believe the projects that abound! 

Sometimes when I don't have the time or energy to tackle something big I head over to Home Sanctuary and join up the the "Company Girls" to take a look at the latest Small Thing. Rachel blogs thoughtfully about ways that she transforms her home and life with the little things. She gives us one small task a day to bring order, breath life, and create sanctuary in our homes all while creating a sense that we are all in it together!

Well, now that I'm inspired anew by my old favorites I hope that you will share with me where you find your inspiration. Have any of your faves made my short list? Share yours in the comments!

Have an inspired Sunday!

Where's The Sunday Sip? Well, we are out there looking for YOU that's where!  The Sunday Sip queue is open and waiting for you to hop in line. Send us an e-mail if you would like to be featured on an upcoming Sunday Sip. We can't wait to meet you and introduce you to our readers!

When to say NO

No is such a simple word but can sometimes be the most difficult one to say to someone that you care about.  I have this habit of really spreading myself too thin and almost NEVER saying NO when someone asks me for help.  The times when I am forced to say no - because of a prior commitment or something - I always feel an extreme amount of guilt.  I never want to disappoint anyone.  I am pretty sure it stems from a bit of an anxiety issue where I believe that saying no will mean that people will be mad at me and I will lose friends.  The truth is, if they are really my friends, they will understand the no and realize that it isn't personal.

I've made myself a list to help me justify saying no.  I figured I would share it with you and give you some good reasons to say no once in a while, too.

Here it is, my list for when it is okay to say NO:

1) If it is something that really makes you uncomfortable - doing things to help others shouldn't cause you any anxiety.  If it is something that you really don't want to do then tell them.  It's OKAY to say, "I'm not comfortable with that, sorry."

2) If you don't have the money - sometimes someone will ask you to do things that require a little cash.  It might be gas money or money for food they want you to make or bring, it could be a bridesmaid dress or even money for a hotel stay - if you don't have the money then just be honest.  I know it isn't always the easiest thing to say, "I can't afford that" but being honest will let them know that it isn't about them but about what you can and can't do.

3) If it is going to take more time than you have to give - if this is a reason that you have to say no then you might want to try telling them how much time you do have to give.  A lot of the times I will have to say that if something is going to last longer than my kids can stay awake and I have to have them with me.  So, instead of a flat out NO, I might say, "I can stay until 7:30 but then I have to get the kids home and in bed"

4) If you aren't feeling good - your health and well being is #1, so if you aren't feeling well enough to help someone out then tell them that.  I know a lot of people use this excuse when they just want to wiggle their way out of something but if you really aren't feeling good then there is no guilt with backing out because of it!

5) If it goes against your beliefs or puts you in the middle of something you want to stay out of - a lot of times friends will ask for help with things that will put you in the middle of their rocky relationship or even be something that you don't particularly agree with morally.  Steer clear of those situations!  Of course, you don't want to be really rude and lecture someone but you should tell them why you can't help so that they will know not to ask again if the situation arises.

6) If you already have too much to do - there are times of the year when everyone has a lot to do.  The beginning of the school year and Christmas Season both come to mind when I think about busy times.  If you have to do your own shopping, cleaning, wrapping and cooking then don't feel bad telling a friend that you can't take the hour and a half there and the hour and a half back to pick up her parents from the airport.  Simply tell it like it is and say, "Sorry, things are crazy right now!  I wish I could help but I just am not going to have the time."

Finally, I want to share an image with you that I picked up off of this Facebook Page yesterday:

Remember to take care of yourself first.  If Mama isn't happy then NO one is happy.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

Best Day EVER (this week) #21

If you are looking for a spot to link up your best post of the week:You found the place! Welcome to The BEST day EVER (this week): A carnival brought to you by the gals behind More Than Mommies. So anything is fair game for the link up--as long as it's your best of the week! 

Link up with us and Tell a Friend to do the same. We can't wait see what everyone has been up to this week. Please remember to grab our button for your post or sidebar so blog hoppers will know where you've been and where to go next. This is a low key hop, but the more links, the more fun! We will follow everyone who links up and we ask that you leave some comment love for the blog in front of you and behind. If you have time to visit more--by all means do it! Please link to a specific post!


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I had an insanely horrible week.  My brother-in-law passed away last Friday (which is why I didn't participate in the post last week or write one on Monday) and we buried him on Tuesday.  He was 35 and had diabetes his whole life.  He died from a complication of diabetes and leaves behind a family who will truly miss him . . . especially his 5 year old daughter.  He always treated her like a princess and this was a really tough week for her - the start of a lot of tough times ahead.  If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this kind of thing with a small child we would certainly LOVE to hear it!  She has read the book I Miss You: A First Look At Death several times with her mother and seems to be doing well but it is a day to day thing and will get harder, I'm sure.


So . . . after the week we had I knew that we had to get out of the house and do something fun!  That's exactly what we did yesterday with our trip to the zoo!


I packed up my 2 nieces and 3 nephews, along with Danika, and we headed to the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium!  We had a fantastic time and EVERYONE was SO well behaved!  Honestly, I would take the 6 of them anywhere if they behaved this well every time!  


I will share some of the pics I took while I was there - I can honestly say that one of the highlights for me was that I was able to leave the 2 year olds with my amazing, wonderful, loving, kind mother-in-law (and father-in-law) for the day.  Why was that so great?  Because it means I was able to take pictures!!!

This last picture is of me in the car headed home.  We got SOAKED on the "run" back to the van.  We thought we were going to miss the rain but we were about 5 minutes too late . . . and 5 minutes in a downpour is enough to soak everyone to the bone (which it did).

I looked at my nephew, Nick, as we were all scrambling to the van with water running down our faces and our shirts stuck to our bodies and I said, "At least we are making great memories!" and he smiled and replied, "Yep".  Which I totally loved and will never forget!

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After my husband's week off and all the adventure we had, it was a lower key week at home.  We got things going on some projects that we've been wanting to do since we moved in!  We started working on our Master bedroom.  When It's all done, I'll share what we've done.


I've also been wanting to dig into the hall closet. It's hard to believe I let it get so packed up with JUNK!  It took me about thirty minutes to get it back to normal. 

Also this week, Livi started dance camp: Magical Movie Camp to be exact. And I only forgot about picking her up one time! Go me!

The rain has slightly spoiled today's plan to head to the pool but I'm sure it will still be a good day. I am attending the Tea Party for Livi's camp,and then we will be spending some time with my Mom.  My husband is heading away for the weekend (yearly golf outing) and so: Girls' Weekend!  Woohoo? (Girls' weekend might be more fun if I didn't have to be the one planning it.) 

  

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(. . . this week)!

We promise to visit (and follow) every one who links up - so keep us busy!  We can't wait to meet you!

A Rant on the State of Marriage

I read an article in Redbook yesterday that shocked me. 


The article was written by a married woman who "dates" her exes (as in, schedules lunch dates with people she used to have sex with). After reminiscing about her escapades with them, she comes home elated from all the wonderful things her exes say to her and the great way they make her feel. She then shares the details with her husband--who is incredibly hot, secure, and in love with her. These meetings with her exes boost her self esteem and provide fodder for her sex life with her husband. Also, the thought of them ever escalating from anything more than an innocent hug at the end of the date is unfathomable to the author. According to the article's expert, Catherine Hastings, Ph.D. :  "anything that boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel stronger allows you to bring more strength to your marriage...The biggest red flag would be secrecy. But if you're comfortable telling your husband whom you're having lunch with and exactly what the conversation is about, it's probably very healthy."


According to Dr. Hastings the biggest red flag would be "secrecy".  But just because she tells her husband what's going on doesn't mean there aren't other red flags waving in the breeze.  Of course, since the author has been validated by one marriage and family therapist, she can choose to ignore those other red flags. And lead her readers down a slippery slope with her.  


Sure she says this lifestyle choice isn't for everyone and she readily admits that she's not sure how she would handle her husband turning the tables on her--because she isn't as secure as he is.  But what makes her think that he hasn't already done it and just isn't telling her about it?  What's good for the goose is good for the gander, as they say (actually no one really says that anymore--but it was a saying in the days of yesteryear).  Her actions have basically written the permission slip for her husband to do the same thing--like it or not. 

I'm not going to sit here and say that it doesn't feel good to be validated and complimented by someone other than your spouse.  Just because something FEELS good, doesn't mean it is good. The biggest "red flag" that I think that the therapist and the author of this article are ignoring is the fact that these dates are fostering an intimacy with someone other than her spouse. It doesn't matter that her husband knows about the dates beforehand. It doesn't matter that she tells him all the details of their conversations afterwards. It also doesn't matter that he seems to enjoy the benefits of the vigor it brings to their sex life. It's not about sharing what happened once upon a time in her life with her husband and reliving it with him.  It's about what she's doing right now. In the moments when she is sitting across the table from another man that has shared her past and reliving it with him--sharing with him something only the two of them would get--building intimacy with him.   

I think it is naive to define "cheating" as simply something sexual.  If all you share with your spouse is sex--then I'm sure an indiscretion in that area would be extremely devastating to your marriage.  But being intimate with someone is not just about having sex with them, and I DO think that you can cheat on someone without ever swapping bodily fluids.  In my marriage--I achieve intimacy with the Mister in lots of different ways: being in the same room together, holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, talking about our past, present, and future. Building trust. Sharing our feelings: fears, joys, sadness, frustrations, worries, dreams, hopes, desires. Laughing together. Crying together. Connecting with one another on a level beyond the physical. Is it wrong to do those things with someone other than your spouse?  That's for you to decide.  I do think it can be extremely dangerous. Is it cheating?  I think it can be the WORST and most devastating kind of indescretion.  It cheapens the intimacy that we build with our spouses. 

I guess what I don't understand is why she needs to go on the these "dates" to achieve the benefits she is enjoying from them.  Couldn't she find validation in other ways?  Perhaps her retelling of her sex-capades of yore do rev up her husband--she doesn't need to go on a date with her ex to remember those things and talk about them with her spouse, does she? 

I'm riled up by this article because I think it's painting a picture that "dating" someone else while you are married is normal, innocent, and somehow healthy.  Am I hung up on the verbage?  Maybe so, but I'm also scared--is this REALLY the state of marriage today?  I posted on my personal Facebook page yesterday about the article because I wanted to take the temperature out there.   I got a good bit of response (albeit, a majority were married women--but that's who is probably reading these Redbook articles anyway) and I'll tell you that everyone seemed as shocked as I was. Sigh of relief. 

But an article like this reminds me that this IS the row we are hoeing (another outdated saying).  But what I mean to say is, someone out there finds this completely acceptable and is sharing it with the world, who will in turn look and say, "See--it works for them!" (Of course we don't see the long term effects of this behavior on the author's relationship or on her exes' relationships for that matter.)  And then everything becomes muddled (as if it isn't already) and marriage  is...well what IS marriage? 

The Sunday Sip: Fill up Your Cup with Alisha at Your Kid's Table

Finally rolling over on this rainy Sunday morning. So much about rain is great for sleeping and I needed that! But now I'm ready to fill up my cup and sit down and introduce you to another blogger that you will absolutely love!

Welcome to The Sunday Sip: The  weekly feature bringing you "more than mommy" bloggers from around the web.  Why not check out all here, or visit our Sunday Sip Pin Board. 

If you are interested in being featured in one of our Sunday posts, simply drop us a quick email and let us know! We would love to be introduced to your blog and introduce you to our readers, whether you are a new blogger or a fixture in the blog world.  The queue is always open, so don't be shy. 

Join me in welcoming Alisha from Your Kid's Table! We are so glad you are here. 

 What are you drinking this morning, Alisha? 

Water, I know boring!  I do love coffee and tea, but never have it together enough to make it before my kids are around my ankles with plea's for breakfast.  I guess, it would help if I got up before them, but I sleep until one of my little guys is demanding to get out of the crib.  I should mention they are up at 6 half the time!

Introduce yourself to our readers:

Well, I am a pediatric occupational therapist and a mom to two little boys, Sam and Isaac, both under three.  As an OT I work with young children to improve their feeding skills, fine motor skills, and sensory processing.  I am passionate about feeding and sensory play! I spend as much time with my kids as I can and try to really be present with them in daily life, which is a challenge for a type-A personality like myself. I also have a wonderful husband, that has been amazing in helping me get Your Kid's Table off the ground.  I never thought blogging would be on my resume, but l am enjoying the journey it is taking me on!

We love to hear the story behind blog names. How was "Your Kid's Table" born?

I liked the idea of Your Kid's Table because I wanted the blog to about what other moms (that's the "your" part) would be doing with their kids.  The focus of the blog is improving kids eating and sensory play (that's the "kid's" part).  Lastly, the word table was important to me because it is where most people gather as a family to eat and often play.  Initially, I started to blog to help people that were struggling to get their kids to eat well, but the areas of my occupational therapy background, like sensory, kept emerging.  My hope was that Your Kid's Table was a broad enough title to encompass it all.

When a first time reader visits your site what is one post that you would like them to read and what was your inspiration for writing that post?

Wow, this a tough one!  I would have to say Blueberry Cornbread.  Obviously, this is a recipe, but I also include a lot of tips on how to get your kid to eat something they think they don't like.  Isaac, my baby, was the inspiration, because I wanted to share something that was a nutritious, home-made first table food that the whole family could enjoy.  However, blueberries aren't Sam's favorite so I tried to give a lot of details on how I got him to eat them.  I hope that other parent's are able to relate this to their own frustrations with feeding their kids and feel inspired and motivated to try something new. 

As the mother of 2 completely different 2 year olds with equally diverse appetites, I totally love that your blog gives information about how to deal with young eaters and picky eaters!l  Has it always been your approach to blog in this way and where do you see your blog going and growing to in the future?

My hope is that Your Kid's Table will be a resource for parent's, that has always been my vision.  I want to cover the basics like how to make baby food and transition to table foods, but also want to give lots and lots of tips, advise, and strategies, to improve eating.  So many of my friends and people I meet are unhappy with how or what their kid's eat.  It doesn't have to be that way!  In the future, I would like Your Kid's Table to have a community feel, where parent's can support and encourage each other.  Lots.

Thanks for spending a bit of your morning with us, Alisha! Finally, can you tell us what makes you "More than a Mommy"?

 I love to read!  Getting lost in a book is something I have enjoyed doing since I was 9.  It is a real escape for me.  I haven't had much time to do it lately, but it is always at the top of my list when I need to carve out some "me" time!  I am also really passionate about home design.  I love flipping through magazines and scouring over Pinterest to get new ideas.  In another life, I easily could have been an interior designer.  

We both love reading too, check out More Than Mommies Book Club and you can read with us each month!  Now, click over to Your Kid's Table to see more of what Alisha offers and let her know that More Than Mommies sent you! You can also see what Alisha is pinning these these days and keep up with her on Facebook and Twitter. 

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